Saturday, April 2, 2011

Day 13 2/03/2011

I SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was shit! I was shit and I hate doing this so much! I keep beating myself up if I don't do everything right and today was the worst! I was running so late that I forgot my creon when I went to work for the full day, which I have to have everytime I eat! And then I felt so bad about that I totally went out and ate as much sugar as I could get my hands on! And didn't do my blood sugar because I didn't want to look at the truth of what I had done! And because I sucked at this I totally did something wrong a work! FUCKING KARMA!!!!!!

This is my biggest problem sticking my head in the sand! I don't want to know or face the truth because it will hurt and being me back to this SHIT LIFE THAT I LIVE! And if I find out the truth then those people around me will and I will hurt them! I'm the protector I protect people from the truth because I don't want to hurt them!!!!!

I hate this disease and I am sick of thinking about death all the time! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
I can't do this!

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