Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Day 14 3/03/2011

BEEN OFFLINE!

Hey guys sorry that I haven't been posting for awhile! I have just moved house, so if any of you out there have ever moved house you will know what I am taking about! It's a bitch! On Sunday alone I had to work, come home move my stuff and then clean the old house for inspection! And right now the new house is still a mess! Oh and also my Internet has been playing up!

So day 14! YAY! I made it 2 weeks which is amazing for me let me tell you! As I said in my last post I find it really hard to take everything! And it gets to the point where if I don't do it, it then becomes a punishment thing and I keep going downwards! Then it's 3 months later and I haven't taken anything and I feel like shit and hate myself! It's a fucking cycles that I hate! but I don't know if I have enough strength in my to keep doing this for the rest of my life!
I just want a day off, and even if I don't take my meds all day I feel so guiltily about not taking them that I never get a break!

But think of it this way..... You have the most exhausting day (eg. moving house) then you have to save that last bit of energy to take you meds and put more effort into a life that sucks!
Sorry I feel like this blog has just become a place where I can vent! Next blog I promise more of the transplant story! I off to do a nasal wash out!

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