Monday, May 16, 2011

Day 29 18/04/2011


I don't really know what the future holds for me. I have know from an early age that I would not live a long life, I have had many friends die around me with this illness. My closest friend died at the age of 21 waiting for a transplant.

I have a list of things that I want to do before I die:
-See a ballet
-Travel to Israel
-Get a bunny
-Read all of Jane Austin's books
-Learn to tap dance
-Have my own exhibition
-Learn to quilt
-See an Oprah
-Live away from Canberra
-And fall in LOVE

Most of all I don't want to die young, there are many things I want to do that aren't on my list like becoming a better person. I want the chance to grow and change, I haven't yet found myself. I'm learning who I am more with each day, but it's not enough for me to know only half of myself.

What I think I am most scared of is getting sicker and just wasting away in bed, being trapped then dying. Being a pain to someone me needing them more then they need me. I know that everyone doesn't get what they want, but some part of me thinks that I deserve more. I don't want everything handed to me, I love working for things.
And I hate when people say that you could die at any moment, I know that I will die young. Maybe not a young as I thought but young.

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